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Seamus Dolly: Ways to Speed up Your PC
Published on 11/25/04 at 15:58:43 GMT by Norbert
Some Technical Treason. Six ways to effectively speed up your PC. by Seamus Dolly
1. Place it on Jet, as close as possible to the front. 2. Increase your ram by putting him on growth hormones. Fasten your PC onto your enhanced ram, taking care not to hinder or compromise his circulation. Then whip him with a USB hub, at the end of two metres of cable. 3. Now this is a beauty! Give it maximum acceleration with an aircraft carrier "elastic thing"! 4.Swith your PC "on". 5.Take the aforementioned Jet for a spin.
Now, should your PC be too fast, replace it with yourself and repeat steps 1, 2, 3, and step two, again.
I hope that this technical insight was helpful.
PS: You may need to get special permission from the ISPCA, or relevant Aviation authority, regarding the use of their "elastic". Use your own discretion and due diligence!
PPS: My esteemed Editor recommended that I call this "six" steps, even though I could only think of five. He insisted that "Six" rolls better from the tongue, or technically, that sliver of meat that he cleans out my ear with.
Sincerely, Tranni D'Electric. mailto:electric@thetrivialtimes.com Email [email=electric@thetrivialtimes.com] Tranni D'Electric [/email] < electric at thetrivialtimes dot com >
Early this morning, I'm sure it wasn't ten yet, Tranni D'Electric from "Trivial Times" managed to get me on the phone. You picture that: it was practically in the middle of the night, the voice mail serviceI use is very reliable to protect my beauty sleep. And I was exhausted. Firing cannons under my bed wont wake me after a week like this. Not so Tranni. She knows a trick or two. And words neither my dictionary nor AskOxford have heard about yet. Anyway, she pointed out that in the article I have not got her email right. Or better it was not linked correctly or something.
So, I'll try again: Email [email=electric@thetrivialtimes.com] Tranni D'Electric [/email] < electric at thetrivialtimes dot com > (Life saving hint: be very very polite in your message).
Does anybody have a URL for me where I can find specific, rare, new words, maybe using only phonetic resemblance, you know, where you can search for "adjective, three syllabels, sounds like *&@@^%" ?
linking
Written on 11/27/04 at 15:25:15 GMT by Norbert
Oh, Big and Mighty Seamus, HELP. This time it was Trizia. She pointed out that I've bâclé the stinking linking again.Bâcler seems to be French and may mean that I havn't got it quite right. Her French :-Z It's a cruel world we live in where an old man has to face such demanding challenges. We haven't done linking in school and I was home, sick with flu.
Waahh. The bell ...
email Tranni D'Electric
Written on 11/27/04 at 15:36:44 GMT by mbu
Let me get this right ... Contact Tranni D'Electric: send email to electric@thetrivialtimes.com < electric at TheTrivialTimes dot com >
All Jockel wants is his ears cleansed, and he doesn't want to pay the ophtomalogist. Nachtigall, I hear you trappen.
opthomalogist ?
Written on 12/03/04 at 17:27:33 GMT by Norbert
It's better spelled opthomologist, methinks. And thats a doctor for eyes, not for ears, Nachtigall.
Umpff
Written on 12/03/04 at 17:32:26 GMT by mbu
Before you point out one more errror. I know. It's better spelled "Nachtigall, ich hör dir trapsen."
Tranni D'Electric turned up!
Written on 12/06/04 at 22:07:54 GMT by richie
I just got an anonymous email from topsecret@thetrivialtimes.com Apparently, she is feverishly working on a new consumer report entitled "Why vibrators are without question, the most popular invention". It said that she has worked up quite a lather of sweat, researching and compiling insider information.
The thrust of her report concerns "vibration alert", and its applications in cell phones.
Personally, I love vibration alert, as I am partially deaf, and incidentally, double-jointed.
If I hear of any further movements, I'll keep you posted.
Well done
Written on 12/07/04 at 01:41:35 GMT by Admin
Can't find much technically wrong with that comment. You'd have to know what it means first, and young children shouldn't. Besides, you hear much more on the news or on commercials these days.
I missed all these comments until just now... this is pretty funny. I only log in as admin when necessary, so it's easy to miss things. Now off to see if I have the variable set right in the control panel.
mbu come again please:
Written on 12/08/04 at 11:32:39 GMT by ahecq
Trizia wrote: "All Jockel wants is his ears cleansed, and he doesn't want to pay the ophtomologist. "
Ok, you mean an otologist or an aurist: an ear doctor. Right ?
BUT, Clarification Question: Are you trying to insinuate that Jockel wants to have his ears cleansed by Tranni's esteemed editor with that sliver of meat that euphemistically she named tongue ?
Seriously ?
Cleaning abilities.
Written on 12/10/04 at 00:12:32 GMT by richie
If the editor is that good, esteemed or othewise, I could do with his services. My driveway is filthy.
filthy driveway
Written on 12/11/04 at 09:25:54 GMT by ppp
You want your driveway cleaned with a tongue ? Glossed ?
Could be a new market niche.
New Market niche.
Written on 12/11/04 at 14:20:36 GMT by richie
pps If he cleaned it with his ear, I wouldn't mind. Glossed, or not.
Christmas is coming and it needs to be done. Santa may not have the same tolerance as Tranni.
Actually, I wonder what new "angle" Santa could use, to make his appeal more audience-wide?
Tranni seen on google
Written on 01/18/05 at 11:56:07 GMT by ppp
norm posted:
quote
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 17:04:57 -0800 Local: Tues, Jan 11 2005 5:04 pm Subject: Some info. on Tranni D'Electric.
Tranni was born to technically minded parents. Her brain is fried from too much logic and not enough reason. She is not unusual in this respect though, as we all know such individuals.
For taxation evasion reasons, she was hired by a "soon to be bust" newspaper, as an "expert columnist on electronic equipment and consumer products in general.
I heard that Tranni is getting a facelift or something. Her "visage" without sideburns should be lighter, I guess. Does Tranni floss?
floss?
Written on 02/03/05 at 07:22:12 GMT by Norbert
I have to google what floss means. ah:
http://www.infonomics.nl/FLOSS/report/ Free/Libre and Open Source Software: FLOSS FINAL REPORT International Institute of Infonomics University of Maastricht, The Netherlands Berlecon Research GmbH Berlin, Germany June 2002 ... This project remedies the lack of information on Free/Libre/Open Source Software (1) starting at the very beginning: by conducting surveys to generate a unique base of primary data on Free/Open Source Software usage and development; identifying indicators to measure value creation and issemination in the OS/FS arena; ...
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